Joke of the day

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Re: Joke of the day

Post by Riebens on Mon 17 Oct 2011 - 6:16

you did not ask me that questions ?? biggrin


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Re: Joke of the day

Post by Snow on Mon 17 Oct 2011 - 7:09


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Re: Joke of the day

Post by Raiden on Mon 17 Oct 2011 - 7:13

lol! good one !!

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Re: Joke of the day

Post by Ryleous Arkane (SA_ORION) on Mon 17 Oct 2011 - 9:30

Haha, goooooooo Gandolf! YOU SHALL NOT PASS! Laughing Laughing Laughing

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Re: Joke of the day

Post by Guest on Mon 17 Oct 2011 - 15:50

@Raiden: Thumbsup

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Re: Joke of the day

Post by Horizon on Mon 17 Oct 2011 - 17:27

lol...
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Re: Joke of the day

Post by Raiden on Tue 1 Nov 2011 - 17:13

Dear Chuck Norris.

Screw you. I can grill burgers under water.

Sincerely,
Spongebob Squarepants

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Re: Joke of the day

Post by Seqan on Wed 2 Nov 2011 - 17:39

Light a man a fire and he will be warm for a day.

Light a man on fire and he will be warm for the rest of his life.

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Re: Joke of the day

Post by Guest on Wed 2 Nov 2011 - 18:37

Seq do not play with fire. I know something about this Smile Wink

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Re: Joke of the day

Post by Seqan on Thu 3 Nov 2011 - 15:02

Razz

A man walks into a bar and sets a brown paper bag on the bar. Bartender comes over and asks, "What'll you have?"

The man thinks for a moment, then says, "Gimme a shot of whiskey."

The bartender goes through the process of giving the man his shot. "What's in the bag?" the bartender asks, just trying to make polite conversation.

The man smiles and opens the bag. Reaching in, he pulls out a miniature grand piano and a short man. The short man sits at the piano and plays some concerto the bartender had never heard of.

"Where in the hell did you get him?" the bartender asks, astonished.

"From this genie," the man answers, pulling out an old fashioned oil lamp.

The man hands the bartender the lamp, and the bartender hastily rubs the side, and lo and behold, out pops a genie. "I will grant you one wish and one wish only!" the genie says to the bartender.

Excited, the bartender exclaims "I want a million bucks!" (For those of you who don't know American jargon, a buck is the same as a dollar).

The genie snaps his fingers and goes back into his lamp. A few seconds later, a line of ducks start marching into the room. More ducks keep coming until the whole bar is filled with dozens and dozens of ducks!

Over the loud quacking, the bartender shouts at the man, "I think your genie's a bit deaf!"

"No shit!" the man yells back. "Do you really think I asked for a twelve inch pianist?"

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Re: Joke of the day

Post by Raiden on Thu 3 Nov 2011 - 16:11

biggrin

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Re: Joke of the day

Post by Michael on Sat 5 Nov 2011 - 16:02

Joke of the day:
Michael just got 21 yo
Why it was a joke ?

Cus it was yesterday xD

Why just 2 SAs visited the Swat portal the last... 3 days ? Too many "issues" on there ?

Understandable biggrin

I'm starting such "issue" on my bday thread right now.
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Re: Joke of the day

Post by Guest on Sat 5 Nov 2011 - 17:01

Very Happy Wink Razz

... maybe too many other things to do. hmm, dunno.

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Re: Joke of the day

Post by Seqan on Sun 6 Nov 2011 - 1:11

Mike, I don't visit the portal because it...

1. Serves no purpose for me since I can't hardly play anymore. Damn graphics upgrades...

2. I am just tired of reading a whole bunch of SHIT.

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Re: Joke of the day

Post by Guest on Sun 6 Nov 2011 - 2:45

Things on portal might be better. Maybe only some mods need talk with each other Wink. Still alot things to do there. I must tell Im very busy atm. In all cases new portal have great possibilities. And one from main changes is Ticketsystem. I hope no more crying on forums. well, i think is worth check it from time to time. ... and also CF lexicon is filled atm.

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Re: Joke of the day

Post by Michael on Sun 6 Nov 2011 - 9:24

Lexicon only had 20 words with several grammatical mistakes, all of them posted by Abras, and that's all.

Well, I'm starting such changes right now, on the portal, after hitting it.

But you haven't visited the Portal, neither to give felicitations to your top supporter ? S:
You're still in time for it Razz
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Re: Joke of the day

Post by Seqan on Sun 6 Nov 2011 - 20:47

I still can't play the game.

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Re: Joke of the day

Post by Michael on Mon 7 Nov 2011 - 15:27

@Seqan: I hope that will soon be just a joke... Whatever PC you have, CF should still work if you choose the proper options for your PC. CF 1.9 even perfectly(counting FPS over 30) worked on a 128 Mb Graphic card with 512+256 Mb Ram and 1.6 Ghz single core CPU biggrin (my old rig)
Advanced shade and another option which I don't remember atm, are a big problem to any PC that has under 2 Gb ram and 512 mb Graph card.

Joke of the day:
OP is way too OverPowered Very Happy

As the first one wasn't very... special... here goes a second one:
My posts counter on Swat is having some xxx Rolling Eyes as it has "69"
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Re: Joke of the day

Post by Seqan on Mon 7 Nov 2011 - 18:00

Mike, I know my own computer, and yours IS better than mine. And I am running with bare minimum graphics and end up with about 10 FPS just flying through X. Godforbid I ever get in combat...

@Your joke: Rolling Eyes

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Re: Joke of the day

Post by Michael on Mon 7 Nov 2011 - 18:59

So, you mean with all extra FL backgrounds, adv shaders and adv effects on off, card compatibility issues and in-game options on min you get 10 fps ??
Are you serious, such PC wouldn't even work with internet, it'd get stuck with the advertisement animations...

Joke of the day's night:
Sarge:_ Land right on top of them!
Grif:___ Right. Land.
Sarge:_ You do know how to land this vehicle, right?
Grif:___ Sure! That just means stop flying, right?
Sarge:_ BRACE FOR IMPACT!
Tucker: Aw, shit! This is gonna suck!
Caboose: I still haven't got my peanuts.

Stolen it from your sig, it made me smile(at least) each time I saw it Very Happy
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Re: Joke of the day

Post by Seqan on Tue 8 Nov 2011 - 14:00

Enough ribbing on my computer. All comments relating to that sort of thing are going to the bin from now on.

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Re: Joke of the day

Post by Michael on Wed 9 Nov 2011 - 5:29

Joke of the day:
How can a computer get ribbed ?
Ask Seqan O
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Re: Joke of the day

Post by Guest on Wed 9 Nov 2011 - 6:35

oooo ... LoLs biggrin

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Re: Joke of the day

Post by Seqan on Wed 9 Nov 2011 - 12:53

Rolling Eyes American jargon. Rolling Eyes

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Re: Joke of the day

Post by Michael on Wed 9 Nov 2011 - 18:24

Joke:

Ok, the first time, my post counter was getting heated up... but now it's at it's max

double 69 FTW ! ( 6969 )

I have few issues at imagining that for humans...


Joke try, take 2:

Ok, if you dobuted too much at the first joke, have this:

Meaning of "WTF !" ? Do you know why fat people use that word more often than anyone else ?

For that ppl, WTF ! = Wheres The Fridge !, also used with interrogation mark WTF ? Very Happy

I invent my own jokes so don't try to search for them lol
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Re: Joke of the day

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