Joke of the day

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Re: Joke of the day

Post by Raiden on Thu 22 Dec 2011 - 7:24

Top 10 Ways To Confuse Santa Claus on Christmas

10. Instead of milk and cookies leave Santa a Weight Watchers bar and a note explaining that you think he could stand to lose a few pounds!

9. While Santa’s in the house... go find his sleigh and write him a speeding ticket!

8. While Santa’s in the house... replace all his reindeer with exact replicas. Then wait and see what happens when he tries to fly!

7. Keep a bull in your living room. If you think a bull goes crazy when he sees a little red cape, wait until he sees that big fat Santa suit!!

6. Leave a note by the telephone telling Santa that Mrs. Claus called and wants to remind him to pick up a loaf of bread on his way home.

5. Take everything out of your house as if it has just been robbed. When Santa arrives, show up dressed like a policeman and say, "Well, well, well… They always return to the scene of the crime"

4. Leave out a copy of your Christmas list with last-minute corrections.

3. Leave out a Santa suit with a dry-cleaning bill.

2. Instead of Christmas ornaments decorate your tree with pumpkins!

1. Dress up like the Easter Bunny. Wait for Santa Claus to come and then say, "This neighborhood ain't big enough for the both of us buddy!!"

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Re: Joke of the day

Post by sa_admin on Fri 23 Dec 2011 - 23:38

Laughing

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Re: Joke of the day

Post by Fuffud on Sat 24 Dec 2011 - 19:19

Poor poor Santa, What you gonna do? Things ain't going well when Raiden picks on you.

No presents for you this year Neutral

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Re: Joke of the day

Post by Raiden on Sat 31 Dec 2011 - 10:27

@Fud: Facepalm that explains way Santa usually skips me ...

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Re: Joke of the day

Post by Raiden on Sat 31 Dec 2011 - 10:28

Resolutions You Would be Tempted to Keep ...
For those who are scared of making resolutions here are some resolutions they would actually be tempted to keep !!!

Spend more time watching TV / movies.
Chat more over phone / Internet.
Read less.
I want to gain weight. Put on at least 30 pounds.
Stop exercising. Waste of time.
Procrastinate more.
Drink. Drink some more.
Start being superstitious.
Spend more and less time at work.
Stop bringing lunch from home: I should eat out more.
Take up a new habit: Maybe smoking!

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Re: Joke of the day

Post by sa_admin on Sat 31 Dec 2011 - 10:32

oh.... if go for "Drink. Drink some more." ! bounce

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Re: Joke of the day

Post by Fuffud on Sat 31 Dec 2011 - 10:39

A University Student walks out of a bar...

Well it could happen. Shocked


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Re: Joke of the day

Post by Raiden on Sat 31 Dec 2011 - 12:12

lol! very funny

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Re: Joke of the day

Post by Raiden on Mon 2 Jan 2012 - 14:16

I bought my daughter an iPAD, my son an iPOD, me an iPHONE & the Mrs an iRON. She wasn't impressed even after I explained it can be integrated with the iWASH, iCOOK & iCLEAN network. This triggered the iNAG service, which totally wiped out the iSHAG function!

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Re: Joke of the day

Post by Fuffud on Wed 4 Jan 2012 - 12:57

I sure PC world could help fixing it in no time.

I never knew you had a Mrs. :/

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Re: Joke of the day

Post by Guest on Wed 4 Jan 2012 - 13:28

lol! ... totally lost when want understand last sentence Smile . .... but Im sure my wife will like iWASH, iCOOK & iCLEAN network lol!

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Re: Joke of the day

Post by Raiden on Mon 9 Jan 2012 - 8:46

The drunk was floundering down the alley carrying a box with holes on the side. He bumped into a friend who asked, "What do you have in there, pal?"

"A mongoose."

"What for?"

"Well, you know how drunk I can get. When I get drunk I see snakes, and I'm scared to death of snakes. That's why I got this mongoose, for protection."

"But," the friend said, "you idiot! Those are imaginary snakes."

"That's okay," said the drunk, showing his friend the interior of the box, "So is the mongoose."

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Re: Joke of the day

Post by Guest on Mon 9 Jan 2012 - 13:29

biggrin

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Re: Joke of the day

Post by Michael on Wed 11 Jan 2012 - 14:45

lol @ the friend Very Happy
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Re: Joke of the day

Post by sa_admin on Fri 13 Jan 2012 - 13:05

Trophy Thumbsup

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Re: Joke of the day

Post by sa_admin on Wed 25 Jan 2012 - 13:51



Translation : "i'm your father" - guess the rest.....

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Re: Joke of the day

Post by Riebens on Wed 25 Jan 2012 - 14:05

lol!

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Re: Joke of the day

Post by Raiden on Wed 25 Jan 2012 - 14:23

biggrin lol!

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Re: Joke of the day

Post by Raiden on Thu 26 Jan 2012 - 17:57


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Re: Joke of the day

Post by Michael on Thu 26 Jan 2012 - 20:14

doh... Mozambique's turism income should be 0 $
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Re: Joke of the day

Post by sa_admin on Fri 27 Jan 2012 - 2:03

oh my god this is either fake (my opinion) or totally fail !!! Razz Anyway it is funny !

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Re: Joke of the day

Post by Ryleous Arkane (SA_ORION) on Fri 27 Jan 2012 - 10:47

Haha, I need to send that letter to my boss up here at work, he's been on big game hunts, so he could probably relate and get the joke! tongue Laughing Thumbsup

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Re: Joke of the day

Post by Fuffud on Fri 27 Jan 2012 - 14:01


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Re: Joke of the day

Post by sa_admin on Fri 27 Jan 2012 - 14:05

am i the only one to have misread "RedShit" instead of "RedShirt"

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Re: Joke of the day

Post by Raiden on Sat 28 Jan 2012 - 15:44

Couple in their nineties are both having problems remembering things.
During a check-up, the doctor tells them that they're physically okay, but
they might want to start writing things down to help them remember.

Later that night, while watching TV, the old man gets up from his chair.
'Want anything while I'm in the kitchen?' he asks.

'Will you get me a bowl of ice cream?'

'Sure..'

'Don't you think you should write it down so you can remember it?' she
asks.

'No, I can remember it..'

'Well, I'd like some strawberries on top, too. Maybe you should write it
down, so a s not to forget it?'

He says, 'I can remember that. You want a bowl of ice cream with
strawberries.'

'I'd also like whipped cream. I'm certain you'll forget that, write it
down?' she asks.

Irritated, he says, 'I don't need to write it down, I can remember it! Ice
cream with strawberries and whipped cream - I got it, for goodness sake!'

Then he toddles into the kitchen. After about 20 minutes, The old man
returns from the kitchen and hands his wife a plate of bacon and eggs.. She
stares at the plate for a moment.

'Where's my toast ?'

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Re: Joke of the day

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